" Obey Your Thirst "

Green, green, green....green everywhere! We were, it seemed, in the middle of nowhere. There was no sign of human life as far as the eye could see. As we made our way steadily up the steep, quiet and lonely road, my whole body was on alert. I waited with nervous expectation for 'it' to jump out of the 'wilderness' again, into our faces. And yes, just as we had anticipated, there it was...

The Sprite billboard loomed larger than life; " Obey Your Thirst ", it said, and attached below was a sign indicating that the fuel station that we were trying to get to was now only 2km away. I heaved a sigh of relief, as I realized that we could make it there, if we just pressed on....

We had left home that morning, on a family trip into the hinterland of Benin. Everyone had told us how picturesque the route was, how serene and quiet, and also how at one point there were no settlements for several kilometres. So being the master organizer that I am, I had, as usual, overloaded the car with all sorts of contingencies for our trip. Everybody was in charge of one aspect or the other. Stuff to eat on the journey ( Mummy ), our first son; binoculars, camera, and of course Gameboys ( or whatever they're called ), and someone who shall remain nameless was to bring the drinking water!

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, everywhere looked so green...it was also very hot. After driving for about forty minutes, we came to a point where there was a little traffic. I remember looking to my right and seeing this huge Sprite billboard, with the green bottle open, and all those little moist beads of water, well you all know what I mean, and the words " Obey Your Thirst ", I also remember thinking how nice the green bottle looked against the scenery and so on!

Another few kilometres, and another billboard! At this point, we were in a less inhabited area, and unknown to me our passengers in the back ( the children!! )were also noticing these billboards! After a while, I felt the dreaded tap on my shoulder, and then my seven year old daughter said...." Mummy, I....", Oh oh I thought, were are we going to find a bathroom here???

She tapped me again...." Mummy " she said, " I'm thirsty....I want a SPRITE!!!" Me too chorused the other two, it was then I realized that I also was craving a cold Sprite! We looked around us, there was nothing in sight, so despite their disquiet and discontent, which was becoming a little short of a mutiny, we pulled over to have a drink of water. But, guess what...that person, whom we previously agreed would remain unnamed, had forgotten to put the water in the car! Hmmmmm....

Left with no choice, we decided to drive on, literally following the billboards, until we could get to the station a few kilometres down the road, which we eventually did! On getting there, I asked everbody what they wanted to drink, and despite being a bunch of Coca Cola addicts, everbody wanted to drink Sprite!!! This got me thinking...Why? Why did everbody want a Sprite, not a Coke, not a Pamplemousse, not a Fanta, but a Sprite? Why Sprite?????

In 1957, James Vicary announced the results of an amazing six week experiment conducted in a New Jersey cinema. The words " Eat Popcorn " and " Drink Coke " were flashed several times on the movie screen, and the result was that the sales of both Coke and popcorn went up by almost 20% and 60% respectively! One does not have to be a rocket scientist to realize that this use of repititive, in your face messaging was and still is what is responsible for the success of modern day advertising techniques!

It stands to reason therefore, that we also can employ the use of repetitive, constant, positive messages, to increase our self belief, our self worth, and our ability to succeed! These messages are now popularly called Affirmations. They are powerful thought patterns that are proven to help you acheive anything you want! Many sports figures, politicians, successful business people and entertainers use affirmations to remove limiting thoughts, doubt and fear, and replace them with constant, high powered, mega charged messages!

Affirmations should be used to support your Dreams, Goals and Aspirations! They are statements, which when repeated first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and SEVERAL times in between, programme your subconcious mind and keeps you focused on what you want! Stick them all over the place! By the bathroom mirror, beside your bed, in the kitchen, by your dashboard, tattoo it on your person, if you're so inclined!

Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen suggest that personal affirmations should:
1. Be in the first person ( " I " )
2. Be in the present tense ( " AM " )
3. Include an emotional word ( e.g " PROUDLY " )
4. Include a verb ( " RUNNING " )
5. Be short ( " MY OWN BUSINESS " )

" I AM PROUDLY RUNNING MY OWN BUSINESS!"

However, affirmations can also be expressed as short, three or four word statements, e.g " I CAN DO IT!", " I AM WEALTHY!", " I AM BEAUTIFUL!" etc. Affirmations can also be an expression of gratitude, for an anticipated or expected future outcome, result or situation..." I THANK GOD FOR MY BEAUTIFUL HOME IN MALIBU!", " I GIVE THANKS FOR MY MULTIPLE STREAMS OF INCOME!", " I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY PERFECT HEALTH AND BEAUTIFUL LOOKS!" Or, they could be a combination of different styles: " I AM THANKFUL FOR MY $1,000.000 INCOME, WHICH I INTELLIGENTLY INVEST!!!"

Remember Obama's collective popular affirmation: " Yes We Can!"...look what happened!
Take the time to create affirmations in all the key areas of your life TODAY! Let them become personal and daily mantras! Repeat them over and over again, and unconciously you will find yourself changing your behaviour and thinking in line with these positive messages, which in turn will attract that which YOU want to YOU!

As we stood by the car, 'obeying our thirst', I couldn't help but marvel at the effectiveness of repitition on the mind! Repeat these words out loud...

" I AM SUCCESSFULLY LIVING THE LIFE OF MY DREAMS!"

" I CAN DO IT!"

" I CAN DO IT!"

" I AM PROGESSIVELY AND ASSUREDLY DOING IT!"

Good Luck!

Whistler's Law

Call it Black Magic...call it Juju, if you like...Obeah...Voodoo, or as it's more recently called, in Nigeria, and they should know, lol...call it Jazz!

I have encountered alot of ' witches ' in my life time...believe me this is true! But, the first percieved witch I had to deal with, and try and fob off, lived in our house when I was very young! As a matter of fact, I can't remember a time she wasn't there, and by the special grace of God, she....NO...she wasn't burned at the stake, but, by the special grace of God, she is still with us...my Mom!!

I was so sure my mother was a witch, when I was very young, I am still young, so maybe I should say, when I was younger! Anyway, the story of my torture, goes like this; I hated vegetables, like most children do. But, unfortunately for me, in our family, back in the day, when men were men ( and they still are!! ), I had some weird sisters, three to be precise, whom I still have, again by the special grace of God. Anyway, they liked vegetables, or pretended to...pretty, much like my seven year old daughter, Khadija, who just loves salads, much to the horror of her two brothers, because it puts them under pressure to have to eat some! Although, I must commend Majid, who is a month short of seventeen, for begining to nibble on some lettuce, because he says; it's going to give him access to a certain type of girl! He figures that teenage versions of babes like; Rihanna, and Beyonce, will not exactly be eating fufu, so he needs to get with it! Anyway, back to Mom and the torture she put me through!

Because, she is from another part of the world ( we used to think she was from another planet! ), Trinidad to be precise, we didn't get alot of the Nigerian food, we used to crave...I even remember that I used to go and eat with our neighbor's stewards family, in their boys quarters, but don't tell my Mom I told you this! Ok, where was I, before I digress ? Yes, veggies! I tried to tell Mom, that I could do stuff like okro and egusi, but that the lettuce and avocado, didn't work for me. But, what would she do... she would force my mouth open, shove it in, and short of working my jaws with her hand, she'd make me eat it! She is sooOoo lucky, that we were totally uninformed in those days, and there was no cable, and mobile phones, or I would have called for them to come and take her away...as if, even in 2009, in Nigeria, they would respond to a seven year old!

Years later, Trinidad 1985 to be precise. We were living in Diego Martin, Port of Spain during this time. I had grown nicely, or at least I ( the emphasis is on the I ), thought so, and at that age nobody else counts! Guess what tree we would have growing in our little garden at the back of the house? Yep! Avocado! I still hated it, in fact to be honest I had never eaten it before. It was the one thing I was adamant that I would never, Ever, EVER, touch! And I didn't! Then I grew, even more nice... lol! This now being not my own opinion, but the opinion of others lol! And I got married! And, guess what was my husband's favorite vegetable....avocado!

Now, I believe that there are no coincidences in life, and so it was obvious to me that this particular vegetable or whatever you prefer to call it, was destined to figure in my life! So four years ago, for the first time in my life, I ate an avocado salad....and I just loved it! Since then I eat it at least three times in a week! Not only does it taste good with tuna, tomato, cucumber and onions...it also lowers your cholestorol levels!

So...Shade...big deal! Ok, I know, it seems like, ( I actually am ), rambling! What's the point??? There's no point! Must there always be one! Well, maybe just a little lesson to be learned here, but if you actually think of it, maybe quite a few! And yes I know, I use alot of exclamation marks ( ! ), but isn't life just so exciting!

If I tell you I didn't start off this post with the intention of writing about avocado, you probably would not believe, except if you know me personally, because if you do, you would know that despite the fact that ' technically ' ( Majid's favorite term ), I am a master planner, I plan for the long term, but allow the shorter term to take care of itself. Maybe that's what I should write about - technicalities or long lerm versus short term planning! You all are thinking, you mean she isn't about to wrap this up! So, let's do it like this; if you are bored go and do something else, if not, the real story starts here!

Where was I? Now I remember, ( that sounds like Millie Jackson, I wonder if she's related to Michael...she's also an MJ! ), the real story, talk about being distracted! Here goes: I have agreed to ride from Cotonou to Accra, on motorbike, with my husband Tom and my son Majid next April. Please note: not as a ' passenger ', but on my own bike...No big deal you say, especially for those who know Tom, he has ridden from Abidjan to wherever and back! For those who know Majid...well, he too would do something like that! But, for those who know me...it's stranger than...avocado lol!
And here's why:-

1. I have never ridden a motorbike. I am a frequent passenger...Agreed. I am one of the best female drivers in West Africa...Fact. I can ride a bicycle to Kutuwengi...Fallacy, ( technically, I can cycle, but not to Kutuwengi, simply because I'm not sure if such a place exsists! ). Thus, I am a bit worried about this voyage or escapade I have agreed to embark on!

2. I have some deep seated fears, which I push myself to overcome, and riding a motorbike is one of them. And I am very serious here. Let me just tell you a few of what my fears were or are, if you prefer, considering they may never actually go away, but they have kind of been brought under control.

a. Marriage - I was so sure it would be a stress, and it is! But positively so! That's why I had to do it so soon after meeting Tom, or I would never have done it...
Lesson one: Do not think too deep...Just Do It! ( Especially marriage lol!)

b. Driving on a long, dark, lonely, Nigerian expressway alone ( with no street lights and the possibility of ALL sorts ). I did that two years ago. I deliberately set out for Cotonou from Lagos in the dark, and I was scared as hell. My thinking always is, what if there was an emergency, and I HAD to do this thing? I believe that he subconcious knowledge that it's been done before, sort of like a trail run, allows you to function better in such a situation.
Lesson two: Do those things that you fear the most and liberate yourself.

c. Driving through deep water, alone. Hmmm...you wouldn't believe this, but this is my worst nightmare. I think it comes from a childhood memory of our car being stuck in a puddle of water, when we were younger, and the driver, Mr. Odebiyi, I think, imagine I can still remember his name, threatening to drop me in it, as he carried us from the car to ' dry land ' lol.
Well, this June, it rained so hard for three days in Cotonou, and living near the beach means the storms break by us first, there's more water, and the way out is all sandy!
The short of it is, we were marooned in, Tom was in Ghana, and I was craving chocolate ice cream so badly, like I always do when it's cold! So Majid, my buddy, said, ' Mummy this is a good time to overcome those fears ' ( note he really was only interested in the ice cream )! And I told him, ' Majid, I can't, I'm scared. What if my car get's stuck, do I climb out of the window on to the roof, and then some stranger will carry me through the water ( hopefully ), and probably drop me in it? ' Then Majid explained to me that ' technically ' I couldn't get stuck, because the water was only about knee deep, and that my car was higher than that, and that it was a four wheel drive and as such would not stop once I kept accelerating gently, and that because of the position of the sump of the Mercedes, water couldn't get in the engine, and that...and that...and on and on...I was very, very, impressed with him... but I was still scared!
However, I went, I saw and I conquered! And I'm still scared at the thought, but I could do it over and over again if I had to!
Lesson three: ' Technically ' speaking, most of our fears are baseless, that is they are not founded in reality or fact, and yet they are so strong, they prevent us from doing things we CAN do! Remember the AVOCADO!

d. Cockroaches and mice: This one I have not yet been able to overcome, but I'm working on it lol!
Lesson four: Some fears just never go away, and cannot be overcome, but it doesn't matter!

3. I believe practice makes perfect, and knowledge is power! Suffice it to say, that I am just about to start my motorbike lessons. Tom has explained all the technicalities to me; ' once you ride a bicycle, you can ride a bike...it's actually safer than a car??...your awareness is heightened...your higab will blow in your face and cause you to crash if you try to wear it, Shade... trousers are better than a flowing jallabiya...and most of all it will be fun! '

We need to take charge of our lives. Our destiny lies in our own hands. We must overcome those things that hold us back, those things that hinder us. Success is just round the corner, indeed it is upon us, if we would only act. We cannot keep doing things the same way, if we want different results. We must remember that it's never too late to learn something new. We must strive to be happy. It's one life to live, and indeed the second half of life goes faster than the first.

Whistler's Law states; " You Never Know Who Is Right, But You Always Know Who Is In Charge! "

Get in the driver's seat of your life today! Fear is the only thing holding you back! Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of ridicule, even the fear of fear itself! Don't let them fool you, YOU are your own judge! Other people's opinions DO NOT count! Break down all barriers in your way, remove all obstacles! Affirm NOW... ' I AM IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE! '

' No One Knows Caution Like Regret. ' - Kenya

' You CAN Do It! '

' In The Red Corner, Weighing In At......'

As he bent down to pick me up, I looked into his 'sexy' brown eyes, he inhaled deeply, and I closed my eyes in anticipation....this was a moment I had only ever dreamed of, and it was about to happen, but I never thought it would be like this!

I remember that period in my life as if it was yesterday! I was seventeen, in school in North Wales, frisky, popular and.......very much over weight at 97kg! Indeed I was the ' biggest ' girl in school at the time. This was pretty strange considering the fact that when I was in The American International School in Lagos, I was one of the skinniest in my class, very athletic, and a very fussy eater!

Anyway, here I was on this beautiful, spring, Welsh Sunday, looking into the eyes of a guy we ALL fancied! He was tall, lanky, had brown curly shoulder length hair, and a beautiful tan, and he worked for the school. So why would he choose me???

He didn't Lol! And ( in school they always said don't start a sentence with 'And', but I do it all the time!), before curiousity gets the better of you, let me give you the whole scenario!! We used to play Squash,( Ronke, Feyi and I ), Sunday was a ' free ' day, so we would go to the court in school and muck around! On this day in question, one of us, who shall remain nameless lol, decided that we should see if we could jump from the top of the squash court down! She went first, and landed beautifully on her two feet, laughing! I was next....

Weighing in at 97kg, I sat on the upper beam, held my breath, and jumped! I landed on my two feet, and laughed for a few seconds....beore I felt the most incredible pain in my left leg just before it gave way! I couldn't move! Any attempt to get up sent shock waves up my entire body. Ronke and Feyi, very worried at this point, ran for help! Luckily, ( depending how you look at it ) my ' beau ' was on duty, and came running to my rescue!

But, ( another word we were told not to use at the begining of a sentence!) when he tried to lift me up, I was too heavy for him to carry, so he ran to get someone else to assist him. He came back with another guy, and a wheelbarrow....guess what for?

So, here I was, eyes closed, in anticipation....no, not of a first kiss! but in anticipation of the pain I would feel when they managed to pick me up, and dump me in the wheelbarrow, so they could push me about 500 metres to the school clinic! Talk about an undignified and embarrassing encounter with your ' heart throb!' To cut a long story short, I tore a couple of ligaments in my leg, was unable to walk for six weeks, and now supposedly suffer from osteoathritis as a result....please note the ' supposedly '!( That is another day's topic!!)

So, what is this all about? It is about self esteem, it is about being what you want to be, it is about self will and determination, it is about the fact that the only person that can do anything about you is YOU!

A couple of years later, I was in Nigeria on holiday, walking with my father on the Marina, on our way to the bank, when a bosom buddy of mine from secondary school walked straight past me without saying a word! I had seen her coming, and was already gearing up in anticipation of hugging, laughing and catching up ( if my Pop would spare a few minutes!) I grabbed her from the back, calling out her name, as I realized she hadn't ' seen ' me! She turned and looked at me puzzled, then recognition slowly came into her eyes, as she screamed " ShaAAade!!" and hugged me!!!

Weighing in on that day, at 62kg ( I will never forget my weight during that period, because I was constantly asked by old friends!), I was looking good, and knew it! I had lost ALOT of weight, ALOT!!! At the instance and prompting ( read as heckling!) of my maternal uncle Ossie, in Trinidad, who spoke to me, who made me realize that I could do anything I wanted, who made me see that I did not have to accept or put any limitations on myself, and most imporant of all, who paid me for every kilo I lost ( that was actually the best part!); I had dropped over 30kg!!!
Note: Three other times after this my weight went up to over 100kg ( pregnancy related Lol!), the last being seven years ago, and using the same self motivating methods I lost the excess weight!

We do not have to accept our current situations in life if we are unhappy about them. There's an old saying that " By The Yard It's Hard; But Inch By Inch, Anything's A Cinch!" And Brian Tracy says " The Best Way For You To Eat A Large Frog Is For You To Take It One Bite At A Time." Procastination is not only a killer of dreams, it is a killer of the essence of man himself. No matter how difficult the task ahead may seem, resolve to begin to tackle it today, one tiny step at a time.

When I decided to lose weight, I went out and bought a few outfits in my desired and anticipated size! I used to look at these clothes regularly and envisage myself in them. I use this visualization process for anything I truly want, and it works for me! We must remember that everything starts with a dream, but it will remain just that if not followed by a decisive written plan, a strategy and action! Direction is central to success, as is knowing what you want, and this is where many people are going wrong. There has never been a time such as this. A time where we are faced with a multitude of choices, which ideally should give us more options and ways to fulfil our dreams, but the opposite seems to be the case. Never before have people been so confused, impoverished and in constant debt. Why? And what can we do about this?
It goes back, ( and always will ) to these easy to accomplish Q.U.I.C.K steps:

1. Get a PIECE OF PAPER AND A PEN.

2. Translate your dream into easily definable, realistic, time bound, short term GOALS, that you can visualize.

3. Put these GOALS in writing.

4. Put these written GOALS in a place where you can refer to them everyday.

5. Do something everyday towards acheiving your GOALS.

6. Do not be afraid to share these GOALS with people you can trust to be supportive.

* BEWARE: DREAM KILLERS ARE EVERYWHERE. They are those people that tell us it cannot be done. Those who tell you you want too much, or that you want it all. They could be friends, family or even total strangers! You have to be careful that they do not influence your thinking. Because sharing your dreams is an important part of making them real, you really need to protect your dreams and keep them safe! Look for DREAM BUILDERS; Positive and successful people, who will encourage and guide you!

Having it ALL does not mean having it all at once. It takes time. Start small, no matter your age, and concentrate on TODAY. This slow accumulation will one day make a difference! What you are going to be tomorrow, you are becoming TODAY!!

And never, ever forget;

' You CAN Do It!'

" The Illiterate Of The 21st Century Will Not Be Those Who Cannot Read And Write, But Those Who Cannot Learn, Unlearn, And Re-learn."

And Barcelona Are The New Champions!

His temperature was just slightly over thirty-nine degrees. The results from the test he took showed a high incidence of malaria parasites in his blood. As he sat, huddled, cold, slightly delirious, beside me yesterday night, I was pretty worried, as any parent would be.

' The Elephant Never Gets Tired Of Carrying It's Tusks. '- Liberia

We call Majid, my first son, a horse. He never gets sick, and even when he is not feeling well he pushes it back, and out of his system, something he learned from me. In fact our doctor in Lagos asked a few years ago, if she could conduct a study on Majid and I, since despite having bloodtype AA ( I'm no medical expert, so you must forgive any mistakes in my terminology ), we had never had malaria ( up till Tuesday, touch wood). So, my concern can only be imagined, when two days ago, early in the morning, he knocked on our bedroom door, and in a raspy voice, said " Mummy I don't feel too well ", and collapsed on me. We rushed him to the doctor, and 'they said', it was malaria, they gave him some injections, medication, and all those things they give to mosquito victims!

' What You Do Not Recognize As Deadly Will Not Kill You. ' - Uganda

Ok, let's see how all this ties in with Barcelona being the new UEFA Champions! Last night I decided to watch the Finals, I am not a football expert, nor even a fan, but I was very aware that Manchester United was playing against Barcelona, and here is why; Maj and I share a common lecturer, ( we are both Law students in the same university ), I am in my third year, and he is in his first. Anyway, this gentleman, who shall remain nameless, and clueless about this post, I hope.. lol, is a SERIOUS Man U fan, and whatever happens to Man U, affects us all, so you can now understand why, with our end of semester exams coming up, I decided to stay up and 'pray' for the Cup to end up in England!

' The Haughty Blind Person Picks A Fight With His Guide. ' - Ethiopia


So here we are in front of the T.V, Tom, Majid (he insisted he could watch), and I. The first ten minutes was fantastic, in fact Man U was playing so well, that I was tempted to go ahead and text our lecturer a congratulatory message! Anyway, I decided to get up to get a drink, when I heard Majid croaking...I shot to my feet, and rushed to his side...he was saying, " ggg "..." gggoo "..." gggoooaaall!! " I said, " who...what...where...???" And truly, when I turned to look at the T'V, Samuel Eto'o of Barcelona had scored the first goal of the match. Tom didn't even see it, but I guess he was distracted by my.....( I know you all want to know by my what...but I'm not telling!! )

' Home Affairs Are Not Talked About In The Public Square! ' - Kenya

From that point on everything changed. Man U slacked, lost an early advantage and never got back into the game, the rest as they say is history ( a very different history from the one that they, Man U, had anticipated making )...and that leaves us with one very angry lecturer to contend with! However, watching that match last night was a real eye opener for me. I learned so many things, and came to the realization that, we can learn so much from everything we do, whether it's in our leisure time or otherwise.

' The Possessor May Become The Dispossessed. ' - Kenya

Men are so into football these days, but I wonder how many people 'see' beyond the game. Oh oh, here she goes again...must she take everything so seriously ? Can we not just sit down and watch a good game without being reminded of 'Planning', 'Succeeding', and worst of all 'GOAL Setting' ? Well the answer is yes, you can, but while watching other people kick around a ball, and making millions of dollars in the process, check out the similarities between 'The Beautiful Game' and Life, and while you're doing that, apply some of the rules, which all men know so well ( they're ALL experts! ) , to your own game...The Game Of Life!

' An Old Woman Is Uneasy When Dry Bones Are Mentioned In A Proverb. ' - West Africa

Think about this for just a few minutes;

1. Most men carefully plan, where and with whom they are going to watch a game. The more important the match, the more detailed the plans, and this they do in advance.
2. All football lovers, especially the males, know the rules, and more...they read up on it, brag about it, and speak about it, at any opportunity.
3. Men are very loyal to their teams. It doesn't matter if they win or lose, they always keep hope alive and talk about 'a next time', or 'another season.'
4. Men focus their whole attention on the game, they are very difficult to distract at this time, except for maybe Tom....
5. No matter their current condition or position (remember Majid and the malaria ), their interest never wanes.
6. Football fans exhibit the craziest optimism, I have a friend who is an Arsenal fan, and I believe his motto must be 'No Retreat No Surrender', and thus in the face of sure defeat, they still boast, gamble, and hope for victory!
7. Many people brag about how many years they've supported a club. They know the
history of the players, how much they are worth,to the last cent,they can even speculate on where they will move to, and how much they will be paid!

' An Abundance Of Food At Your Neighbour's Will Not Satisfy Your Hunger. ' - Central Africa

I could list a hundred more things to reflect on, but I won't. But, what I will ask you to do is this; substitute the word 'Football' with 'Life'. What you will find out is that alot of people do the exact opposite from what they do with football, where their lives are concerned. They do not plan, lack passion, do not know their own value, do not project their next moves, do not know the rules needed to achieve, and generally are disloyal to themselves! Does this mean that the results of a game are more important than your success in life? Does this mean that people are more interested in football, than in life itself? Think about it!

On the other hand there are the very positive aspects of the game, and the spooky similarities with life.

1. Football (Life) is a competitive game.
2. You either win or lose.
3. You must play by the rules, and when you don't there are sanctions, some that might even get you sent out of the game for life.
4. All eyes are always on the goalpost.
5. Failure to keep your eye on the ball can cost you.
6. Some players are better than others, and this is usually either as a result of discipline, practice, and or natural abilities that have been developed.
7. If you're on the bench, you're not in the game, no matter how good you may be.
8. You need to be part of a team to succeed.
9. The more cohesive the team, the more their chances at success.
10. Sometimes the fans want victory more than the players themselves,this usually results in failure (Nigerian national team - A Case Study!)
11. Practice counts. Practice, Expertise and Skills are everything!
12. There are certain techniques and methods which when practised guaranty success.
13. The game is getting better and better, the stakes keep rising.
14. Victory is sweet! ' Tous Les Monde Aime Une Gagner! '( All the world loves a winner )
15. Spectators pay to watch footballers make money ( that's my favorite part! )
16. There is alot of money in the game, but you must be a player, one way or the other.

' I Can't Do It Never Yet Accomplished Anything. I Will Try Has Performed Wonders! ' - Will Rogers

Well people, if I say You Can Do It, am I encouraging some of my over 40, 'shot in the knees' friends, to go and play professional football??? Why not....just joking lol! No, that is not what this is about. This is about setting goals for yourself, proceeding to intelligently follow through, and subsequently, win the Game...your Game, this Game called Life! Remember the goal you want to reach is that which you've set for yourself. This is personal. You don't have to prove anything to anybody but you, but this should not be used as an excuse not to try! Do something towards achieving your goals today!!

' Rising Early Makes The Road Short! ' - Senegal



And Yes; 'You Can Do It!'

Congratulations Barcelona, on a game well played, and a victory well earned!!

Locating The G-Spot ! !

The G-Spot is not a myth. It is a term used to describe the area of the female v***** that might contain an errogeneous zone, which when stimulated leads to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful o****** . It was first described by a gynecologist from Berlin in 1950, called Ernst Grafenburg, but it wasn't until the late 1970's when new research corroborated his findings, that the term, named after him, became famous.

So where is it? How can you master it? And finally, what can you do with it!!!
Somehow I feel I have your attention at this point Lol..halleluyah!! Ok guys be patient, I am going to answer, even though I know that you all probably know already...but before I reveal my 'findings', let us talk about one spot that arouses me, one spot that leads us to powerful... discoveries, that spot, which if understood, will take us to that 'zone' which many can only dream of...the 'X' Spot!!

'X' marks the Spot...and yes if you were all excited to read about the G-Spot, please be doubly excited about this! The X-Spot is not a myth. The X-Spot is the intersection where Opportunity meets Strategy, and it is equal to Success, though to the uninitiated it is refered to as Luck!!

Opportunity is defined, as a time when a particular situation makes it possible to do or achieve something; Strategy, as a plan that is intended to achieve a particular purpose; Success, as the achievement of something you want, or have been TRYING to do or get, and Luck...unfortunately the definition does not come up in my dictionary!

' Everything You Need Or Want Has A Way Of Showing Up As Soon As You Are Ready For It ', or as another person put it; ' Opportunity Doesn't Knock. You Knock And Opportunity Answers ', and yet another; '...Nothing Happens In Your Life Until You Make Something Happen.'

It is time to Move Up and Ahead, it is time to Break Through to the next level, never an easy task, but not to difficult either! All it takes is Planning (strategy), and Perseverance. Be ready for the opportunities that MUST come! Be clear about what you want, that way, you will be able to recognize it when it is upon you! Observe 'lucky' people that you know, and note what they did to get that way! Develop partnerships and alliances with others to improve your chances at success! Take Action today! As Harry Truman said 'A Pessimist Is One Who Makes Difficulties Of His Opportunities, And An Optimist Is One Who Makes Opportunities Of His Difficulties.'

I know you all, especially the men(...and women too,if truth be told!), are like...the 'G-Spot' Shade, the 'G-Spot'...so I will say this, if you can find the X-Spot, you can find the G-Spot too and vice versa, all you have to do is exert as much attention as you do on the one as the other!!

I will end this post with a few quotes that I love!

' A Man Who Misses His Opportunity, And A Monkey Who Misses His Branch Cannot Be Saved.'
' Success Always Comes When Preparation Meets Opportunity.'
' The Sure Way To Miss Success Is To Miss The Opportunity.'
' Small Opportunities Are Often The Begining Of Great Enterprises.'
' The Great Secret Of Success In Life Is For A Man To Be Ready When His Opportunity Comes.'
' Only A Medicine Man Gets Rich By Sleeping!'

Have a good week, and remember...'You Can Do It!' (Find the Spot, that is!!!!!)

' The Groom Wore Jeans...'

I remembered the day I got married as if it was yesterday. It was the most romantic and beautiful day of my life! I had looked forward to this marriage for so long...I wore a lovely white ensemble, and the groom...well the groom wore...Jeans!

Apart from the groom wearing Jeans, everything I have said in the first paragraph is totally untrue! It was not the most romantic day of my life, infact it was quite the opposite...I had not looked forward to it for so long, I couldn't have, considering we got married about four months after meeting each other(though my husband insists he heard my very distinct voice in a dream when he was fourteen, but let's not go there now...), oh yes, there's one more truth...I did wear a white ensemble...a long flowing Indian outfit, for want of a better word, with gold beads worked into the bodice, which I only saw the day before, but it was nice...or let me say I liked it, and so did Tom!

Tom and I frst encountered each other on a site in Victoria Island, Lagos, where we were both working. He had been commissioned from Abidjan, and me from Lagos. The day we met, the first thing I noticed about Tom were his legs (he was wearing shorts), they weren't spectacular, but because most people in Nigeria prefer to wear trousers, long sleeved shirts, three piece suits etc., in the heat, he kind of stood out. He was also reading a very interesting book, and this started up a conversation between us...alright Tom, I also noticed your lovely blue eyes, nice enough body...and so on and so forth!

He wanted us to get married right away, I was skeptical...I believed there must be something wrong with him, what was the rush? Maybe he was a psycho, wanted by those gendarmes they have in Francophone countries! Being a very private person when it comes to relationships, I decided to spring a suprise visit on my Pop, in Abeokuta, I knew that my father being basically a fair person would give me an honest opinion. For this maiden visit to his future father-in-law, Tom again wore shorts...but then that was the extent of his wardrobe at the time...T-shirts, a couple of short sleeve shirts, several pairs of shorts, and two pairs of jeans!

My father took one look at his bare knees, spoke with him for fifteen minutes, and said 'Shade, let me know how you all want to do it, I give you my full support!'...now I was really worried! How could my father, who used to be so fussy and protective of us, just agree to me marrying somebody he had only just met? I had to ask...and his response was this...'I have spoken to him, and he seems sincere, his nature shines forth, if he had come to me in a suit, I would not have given my consent so readily, for I would have seen it as an act of deceit, as if he was trying to impress me, playing to the gallery...this is the real him, if you are ok with him, I am ok with him...it is that simple.'

So there we were on our wedding day...Tom in jeans, Shade in whatever...at the registry.We invited ten people to the registry, over thirty showed up, it was supposed to be lunch for twenty, at The Diplomat, we had over one hundred guests! Small for a Lagos wedding, too large for what we had planned...it was alot of stress, hence it not being 'the most beautiful day of my life', but all in all a good time was had by all! So, how is this related to anything, you all want to know...

We got to Ikemba's Queen's drive residence, later that afternoon, to 'Break Kolanut', and I know some people are trying to link Nnewi to Abeokuta...or Trinidad at least! Anyway, in his speech, Ikemba said one thing that I will always remember, very similar to what Dad had said in Abeokuta...he said 'Tom it was nice of you to wear long trousers, even if they are jeans, I thought you would get married in shorts!'...of course we all laughed!!

It was a beautiful day! I actually had alot of fun, I wasn't the conventional bride, and he wasn't the conventional groom...he carried me away over the horizon( in a red Ford Escort)...and we lived happily ever after...right? Not right...but not too wrong either...and here is why; this compressed narration of my wedding is not meant to be about a romantic encounter, it is supposed to contain wisdoms or truths if you prefer, which if examined from different perspectives, can help us along the path of self-improvement towards living a more successful life. Let us briefly examine some of the issues that arise from this 'love story':

1. Even though this was not the case for me, I didn't have time to plan at all(neither wedding of life after it!), most people plan their weddings with more enthusiasm, and attention to detail than they plan their lives. Women are especially guilty of this. Even before they have met Mr. Right, they have designed the type of invitation cards they will have, they know the style of dress they will wear, the venue for the occassion, and who they will or will not invite! But they do not have a 12 month personal goal set written on paper! Many are actually locked up in the illusion that someone is going to come along and organize their lives for them...

2. 'His nature shines forth'. As one grows older, this observation by Dad, takes on new meaning. The importance of being yourself cannot be over emphasized, there is only one you, and as the saying goes 'You were born An Original Don't Die A Copy!' It is imperative that we BE that which we were meant to be. We need to constantly examine ourselves, the lives we are living, our plans, our relationships. We must not change our essential core for the sake of others or for society or even because of our religion. Many people today are chronically unhappy. Many cannot even remember who they really are. Get a piece of paper, and a pen (yes again!), and write down who you really are...who you know you are in your heart of hearts. Do not show it to anyone! Check the differences, are there are any between who you pretend or are percieved to be, and what you wrote...decide to be true to yourself today. Come on, give yourself a break! Then shred the paper and throw it away...or eat it...that's meant to be a joke! However while being ourselves we must take other people's feelings and rights into consideration, within limits of course...kind of like swapping ' the shorts for the jeans', not neccessarily a three piece suit!

3.On the 'I thought you would get married in shorts'. Predictability is not neccessarily a virtue, indeed it could even get you killed. Many of us have fitted into the mold we were put in by other people, and this is not a positive thing. Many are living out the roles that were given to them by their parents, their teachers, their spouses, by society etc. Many have been told 'You can't do this', 'You will not amount to anything'...and they have proceeded to prove those people right. Of course you can, you will and you must... ( this would have been the place to insert my 'You Can Do It' slogan, but I don't want to kill it!!)

I read that the average parent criticizes his or her children as many as eight times before he or she praises them. Wow! And these are modern statistics, so you can imagine back in the day, when our parents were slightly (very) ignorant as to the effects of negative affirmations, especially in African culture...it must have been as many as one hundred times, that is if they ever praised you! However, the good news is WE know better, and we must affirm positive things to our children and wards as well as to ourselves. I stand in front of the mirror EVERYDAY, and tell myself, very loud ( @ Tom and the children, I will try and keep it down!) ALL the good things about me, and they are several!! The other things...well, those I just whisper to myself, and work on changing them...Do I hear an AMEN!!

4.The last point is on 'How To Stay Married'..., I think I will leave that to NabouLove! Even if I pretended to write about that, I would want you all to call me and tell me to 'SHUT UP'!! Do I know what will be up with me tomorrow? I will not even go there...not at all! But I do know Today...and that is all I need to know because that is all there is. This doesn't mean you shouldn't set goals or plan for the future. Your Goals must be immovable (kind of like in football guys!)...but your means and ways of attaining them should be flexible...not rigid!
Do something new towards your goals everyday, no matter how small...see you on top!!!and remember...


YOU Can Do It!
You CAN Do It!!
You Can DO It!!!
You Can Do IT!!!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

P.S Note the emphasis on the different words...feel free to shout out ( and obviously don't say 'You', say 'I Can Do It'!!)...but be considerate of your neighbours!!!

' I Said, A Hip Hop The Hippie...'

Rapper's Delight was the first Rap song I heard in my life, and I loved it! It was back in the day...those good old days in Lagos, when music was music,(and every generation says this by the way) when I could dance, when life was simple...

We went to this party in Victoria Island, I must have been...oops, I was about to mention my age and I know some people have their calculators out...not that it matters! Anyway, they played this song and there were two friends of ours, good looking too, though everyone was fine then...or almost everyone, they had obviously rehearsed the lyrics, we later heard they brought the record from America when they went on holiday (no You Tube remember), anyway,these guys stood in the doorway,and when the DJ played this song,they just rapped and rapped and rapped alongside...I was tripped, and so was my little sister, Feyi...

It's no big deal to be at a party with your little sister, I guess...but this was a big deal, and I am going to tell you why... Feyi was kind of a pain, in those days. Like I've said before, we are four girls, I am the third, and the ages between the first three of us is close, but between Feyi and I, it's like a hundred years! If your adding machine is still out, and you know the year the song came out, and you also can guesstimate my age, then you all know Feyi was too young to be at this party. So...why was she there?

Before I give the details, you won't believe that I can't remember why I started writing this post...I know it has to be related to You Being Able To Do It, but since the gist is flowing, let me finish it first then I will try and remember...

Back to the party, and Feyi being there. At this point you all are wondering where my two other sisters were? They were also there, but they were, or pretended to be, quiet, gentle and generally good. Feyi, on the other hand was performing the duty she had been sent there to do by my Pop...

Having four girls could not have been easy for my father, especially as we were quite popular, so he devised a system so he could know what we were getting up to when we went out to parties, which in those days was not often, and always at the invitation of someone your parents knew or at least could check out. This system had my mother or himself chaufeurring us to and from the boogies, and Feyi...as the spy!
Her role was simple...we couldn't go to any parties without Feyi, and she in turn would watch who was dancing with who...if they turned off the lights and so on...she would then go back home and report to them, and get a pat on the back for a job well done...or so they thought!

Isn't it funny how even though you have been in a similar situation as someone else before you can forget how it feels. My parents had also been young, though in those days it didn't seem like it! They had also partied, or at least kind of, sang to Jim Reeves or whoever, and probably gotten up to all sorts. They must have had their own 'Feyi' in their respective families, and surely they devised a method to deal with the person...so why would it be any different for us?

I am not going to tell you how we got round Feyi, because we did, but I am going to tell you why we must be able to remember the past...to look back, and to apply those memories positively to current day situations.

Who are you mentoring today? When last did you take somebody outside your immediate family by the hand and agree to guide them? Have you looked back into your life lately to appreciate where you are coming from and compare it to where you are now? And most importantly is where you are now where you thought you would be at this age?

I have just remembered that it was Mentoring I wanted to write about, but It's All Good! I will leave that for another time...let's look at 'Are You Where You Thought You Would Be At This Age?'

Do this simple excercise, get a piece of paper, and write down if you can remember, the dreams you had when you were younger, let's say in your teens, when 'music was music'. What type of life did you imagine you would be living when you were your parents age (which is about now!)...are you living that life, and if not, why?

You need to re-assess your life today. You need to do a self audit. You need to get back on track. Now is the only time we know. It is never too late and it doesn't cost a penny. It starts with a thought, and thoughts are free! Change your thinking to change your life. You must succeed, because believe, it or not you owe it to your Creator, to your children, to your family, to your dependants, to all those who love you, and most of all to Yourself!

You CAN Do It!