Sunday, June 14, 2009

' In The Red Corner, Weighing In At......'

As he bent down to pick me up, I looked into his 'sexy' brown eyes, he inhaled deeply, and I closed my eyes in anticipation....this was a moment I had only ever dreamed of, and it was about to happen, but I never thought it would be like this!

I remember that period in my life as if it was yesterday! I was seventeen, in school in North Wales, frisky, popular and.......very much over weight at 97kg! Indeed I was the ' biggest ' girl in school at the time. This was pretty strange considering the fact that when I was in The American International School in Lagos, I was one of the skinniest in my class, very athletic, and a very fussy eater!

Anyway, here I was on this beautiful, spring, Welsh Sunday, looking into the eyes of a guy we ALL fancied! He was tall, lanky, had brown curly shoulder length hair, and a beautiful tan, and he worked for the school. So why would he choose me???

He didn't Lol! And ( in school they always said don't start a sentence with 'And', but I do it all the time!), before curiousity gets the better of you, let me give you the whole scenario!! We used to play Squash,( Ronke, Feyi and I ), Sunday was a ' free ' day, so we would go to the court in school and muck around! On this day in question, one of us, who shall remain nameless lol, decided that we should see if we could jump from the top of the squash court down! She went first, and landed beautifully on her two feet, laughing! I was next....

Weighing in at 97kg, I sat on the upper beam, held my breath, and jumped! I landed on my two feet, and laughed for a few seconds....beore I felt the most incredible pain in my left leg just before it gave way! I couldn't move! Any attempt to get up sent shock waves up my entire body. Ronke and Feyi, very worried at this point, ran for help! Luckily, ( depending how you look at it ) my ' beau ' was on duty, and came running to my rescue!

But, ( another word we were told not to use at the begining of a sentence!) when he tried to lift me up, I was too heavy for him to carry, so he ran to get someone else to assist him. He came back with another guy, and a wheelbarrow....guess what for?

So, here I was, eyes closed, in, not of a first kiss! but in anticipation of the pain I would feel when they managed to pick me up, and dump me in the wheelbarrow, so they could push me about 500 metres to the school clinic! Talk about an undignified and embarrassing encounter with your ' heart throb!' To cut a long story short, I tore a couple of ligaments in my leg, was unable to walk for six weeks, and now supposedly suffer from osteoathritis as a result....please note the ' supposedly '!( That is another day's topic!!)

So, what is this all about? It is about self esteem, it is about being what you want to be, it is about self will and determination, it is about the fact that the only person that can do anything about you is YOU!

A couple of years later, I was in Nigeria on holiday, walking with my father on the Marina, on our way to the bank, when a bosom buddy of mine from secondary school walked straight past me without saying a word! I had seen her coming, and was already gearing up in anticipation of hugging, laughing and catching up ( if my Pop would spare a few minutes!) I grabbed her from the back, calling out her name, as I realized she hadn't ' seen ' me! She turned and looked at me puzzled, then recognition slowly came into her eyes, as she screamed " ShaAAade!!" and hugged me!!!

Weighing in on that day, at 62kg ( I will never forget my weight during that period, because I was constantly asked by old friends!), I was looking good, and knew it! I had lost ALOT of weight, ALOT!!! At the instance and prompting ( read as heckling!) of my maternal uncle Ossie, in Trinidad, who spoke to me, who made me realize that I could do anything I wanted, who made me see that I did not have to accept or put any limitations on myself, and most imporant of all, who paid me for every kilo I lost ( that was actually the best part!); I had dropped over 30kg!!!
Note: Three other times after this my weight went up to over 100kg ( pregnancy related Lol!), the last being seven years ago, and using the same self motivating methods I lost the excess weight!

We do not have to accept our current situations in life if we are unhappy about them. There's an old saying that " By The Yard It's Hard; But Inch By Inch, Anything's A Cinch!" And Brian Tracy says " The Best Way For You To Eat A Large Frog Is For You To Take It One Bite At A Time." Procastination is not only a killer of dreams, it is a killer of the essence of man himself. No matter how difficult the task ahead may seem, resolve to begin to tackle it today, one tiny step at a time.

When I decided to lose weight, I went out and bought a few outfits in my desired and anticipated size! I used to look at these clothes regularly and envisage myself in them. I use this visualization process for anything I truly want, and it works for me! We must remember that everything starts with a dream, but it will remain just that if not followed by a decisive written plan, a strategy and action! Direction is central to success, as is knowing what you want, and this is where many people are going wrong. There has never been a time such as this. A time where we are faced with a multitude of choices, which ideally should give us more options and ways to fulfil our dreams, but the opposite seems to be the case. Never before have people been so confused, impoverished and in constant debt. Why? And what can we do about this?
It goes back, ( and always will ) to these easy to accomplish Q.U.I.C.K steps:


2. Translate your dream into easily definable, realistic, time bound, short term GOALS, that you can visualize.

3. Put these GOALS in writing.

4. Put these written GOALS in a place where you can refer to them everyday.

5. Do something everyday towards acheiving your GOALS.

6. Do not be afraid to share these GOALS with people you can trust to be supportive.

* BEWARE: DREAM KILLERS ARE EVERYWHERE. They are those people that tell us it cannot be done. Those who tell you you want too much, or that you want it all. They could be friends, family or even total strangers! You have to be careful that they do not influence your thinking. Because sharing your dreams is an important part of making them real, you really need to protect your dreams and keep them safe! Look for DREAM BUILDERS; Positive and successful people, who will encourage and guide you!

Having it ALL does not mean having it all at once. It takes time. Start small, no matter your age, and concentrate on TODAY. This slow accumulation will one day make a difference! What you are going to be tomorrow, you are becoming TODAY!!

And never, ever forget;

' You CAN Do It!'

" The Illiterate Of The 21st Century Will Not Be Those Who Cannot Read And Write, But Those Who Cannot Learn, Unlearn, And Re-learn."


  1. Well said Shade! As ever you have not disappointed me with your latest post.
    I do remember the day we met you at Euston station with your crutches!!! YRO

  2. This sounds like me right now. Thks.

  3. Thanks for this inspiring piece much needed these days