Saturday, December 4, 2010
I love Einstein when he says; "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." At a first glance it seems like a very obvious statement, for why would you keep doing the same thing, day in - day out, and expect things to turn out differently? Except of course if you are banking on other factors in the equation to change....
Too many times we expend all our energy complaining about other people's behaviours, the things they do or do not do, the way they disrespect or disregard us, the things they say or do not say. We want to change them, for by our calculations we are bordering on perfection. We are almost 100%!
The Mahatma, Gandhi said; "Be the change you want to see in the world...." How can I change the whole wide world, you wonder, by just changing myself? The answer to this is - just change YOUR world. Change the way YOU do things. Change YOUR actions and reactions.
Unfortunately or fortunately, it depends on how you look at it, change is one of the most difficult things to put into effect, especially for the male of the human species lol! Yet change we must if we are to acheive our dreams, our ideals, our God given talents and aspirations.
I was prvileged to be given the opportunity to speak with a couple recently who were experiencing some personal and emotional challenges. The woman had been bullied into believing that there was a serious need to change her ways if their marriage was to survive. So, what did she do? She read everything she could on Change! She prayed. Fasted. Meditated. Contemplated. And guess what? The more she did these things, the deeper and more reflective she became. She came to the eternal realization that change MUST begin from within, and then and only then will it begin radiate outwardly.
I know you all are figuring that by the time we were having our 'little' talk everything was lovey-dovey with this couple, right? Wrong! Absolutely the opposite. Apparently, things had never been so bad! But why? Because, her partner, who was the initial proponent of the need for her to change, had stayed exactly the same! In fact, he obstinately insisted that he, the god, was going to continue to do things exactly as he had done them before! Remember Einstein's definition of insanity lol!
Was he 'insane' or what? I say maybe! At least a little bit! (though he insisted his wife was the crazy one!) We were however thankfully able to identify the underlying challenge in their relationship (thank God he was a willing partner, and really wanted to make things work!). We traced the root of the problem to his need to control things. He let us know that he had had a stressful childhood, and was never expected to succeed by his family. We discovered that he never believed his wife loved him for himself, but only for what he could provide for her. This guy had some serious issues! But then who of us does not? Believe it or not we managed to sort out a few things! Not as many as we would have liked to make immediate changes, but enough to throw him into a state of self-reflection, which hopefully will lead him to illumination over time.
Control...what is it? And why do many otherwise spirtually endowed people feel the need to control others and situations? Control basically stems from a lack of knowledge of one's true self and nature. Control is closely related to feelings of inferiority and a lack of true confidence. When we identify our selves with our possessions and positions, we live in a state of perpetual fear (though often masked as courage) of what will happen if we lose these things. Thus we feel the need to bring things under our 'command', to be 'in charge', to assert ourselves even when we are in the wrong (or should we say 'the not so right!).
We should and indeed must strive to take control of our lives, but not of the lives of others too. That is cheating. You want to live through not only yourself, but through others too! It is a form of greed.
O Man! What creatures we are! I am sure God 'looks' upon us constantly with a smile.
Deepak Chopra (I'm quoting all my people today!) says; "If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a desicion to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge..."
Finally; Be nice. Be considerate. Do to others what you would want done to you. Don't take people's good nature for granted. Don't make people feel bad just for the fun of it. Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Be Loyal. Be True. Be gentle. Be supportive. Love and be loved back in return. And do not play with people's hearts.
There is nothing wrong with most people that a little love will not fix.
Let us "BE the change we want to see in the World."
It's going to be alright. Together we can do this...
I love you.
Posted by Sayyida... at 10:54 PM